


Peepeeshada makes fun of every voltron fanfic ever created: the thrilling saga

by Setmeonfire_png



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack Fic, Dhdhdh, EXTREMELY CURSED DONT READ, F/F, I really am, Just Bros, M/M, Other, Shiro and Keith are brothers, all of you are going to hell, broganes, curse you perry the platypus..., i hate this, im so sorry jeremy, keith is a fuckifn furry, lance isa sexie boy, peepee - Freeform, peepeeshada instagram gc, slav is a voyeur, sven is jealous
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 03:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11797329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Setmeonfire_png/pseuds/Setmeonfire_png
Summary: EXTREMELY CURSED READ AT YOUR OWN RISKme and the gc had a game of rock paper scissors and i lost so now im the one who has to upload this absolute mess





	1. peepee

**Author's Note:**

> and so thr beginning of a beautiful story begins

keith felt differently about lance lately, he wrote sadly in his diary, with angst,listening to his favourite album, the black parade, he thought about the hot cuban but tried not to because it would ruin their rivalry/friendship :(( :÷=_ very sad

he felt his insides doing gymnastics arouns lance,,,, like they were doing the highwire and jimping off a buolding and doing backflips and ascending fullspeed into heaven,,,other metaphors that writers love to use. 

he sat there in thr ed lion crytyping as he thought about what had happened that day,

fat blobs of tears spilled down onto the altean equipment, as he wrote:

DEAR DAIRY:

_rttt,,,ododayn;; la4_nce rcal,led me a ffurry,, evencthouh i;mn only hal35/ f galr,a $$#_÷__

he could still hear the music that lance played, blasting all the single furries from tje castle speakers, makimg keiths masculinity waver as his eyes started to water.his phone battery started to run low, reflecting how he felt, and he closed his google diaries journal and hopped off the lion, his face still stained with his tears.

then suddenly his FOSTER BROTHER shiro walked in. “What are you doing keith?”

nothing" keith said. “Okay i know we dont have parents  
and were orphans but talk to me if anythings bothering you brother” he said with a mature, adult smile on his face.

“thank u bro, ur a really good relative.” he said back, and although there was a seven year age gap between them and they were BROTHERS, the orphan boy still felt a bond between them, one sharerd between BROS.

he went back thriugh the halls ans saw pidh on the way.

“hello keith you emo are you ok” she said to him.

he igmored her because he is a cool outcast and it doesnt fit with his badboy aesthetic that every writer makes him out to be and carried on wlaking.

he imagined lance singign the spanish song and his galra dong rose and rose and rose and rose and his cheeks turned the color of a rose as he imagined lance giving him a rose in spanish and whispiering despacito in his ear                                                                   **(A/N: despacito is a  spanish song sung by luiz fonzi and daddy yankee)**

"he went to his room **(A/N yk to do the >/////< sorry im too embarrassed to write nd my parents check my computer sorru giys !!!!!)**nevermind theyre outofnmy room now keiths humoungous furry purple cock was so big and long and.he stroked it as he thougt of lance force feeding him paellas and felt his orgainsim risibng in his stomach.

as he was stroking his ween, slav was watching. "ooohh what a beutiful dear he send me peepee pic and bobs" he sais through the air vents. keith gasped, but he stroked hareder because he had an exhibitionist kink because hes a furry. Sven shouted from their room: "r u cheating on me?? also key doesn't have a bobs dummy"

slav realised he was right and after snapping a couple pictures left keith in peace to jerk it to lamce singing gasolina

adter he bust a fat nut all over hismelf he cleaned himself up in his shower and felt bad. “oh no ii have sinnedn, i am a man this is homosexual im a dirty sinner :333” he ssieaid. ****(A/N sweet sin im not sorry XDD hehe)** **

he thought for a moment and realised that he really.liked lance and his sexy body and over romanticised facial features that are in every klamce fic.

he knew what he had to do and after changing back into his sweaty clothes that he hasnt washed for 6 months he knocked on shiro, his big brothers door.

he stood outside and called cautiously. "h-hewwo?" he said "can i haz enter?? :33"

the door opened and he was greeted by his adopted sibling having sex with allura even thought the ages are confirmed and its pedophilia :33 it doesnt matter beca7se its cute ship!!.  shiro noticed the younger brother and immediately stopped, despite being balls deep and about to nut. he stood in the doorway, wearing a naruto anime tshirt because he is japanese. 

“hehe hello bro☺” he said

“hello 7 year age gap i need to talk to you” keith said in a soft voice.

keith stepped inside and suddenly allura didnt exist becasue thisn was a broganes only zone.

shiro began to speak.

“Look BROTHER DEAR obviously you want to date him, you fat gay”

keith looked into the senior officers eyes, shock mixed with sadness.

"yes, bbut whhow do i talk to him, he is strsight!" he replied, scared.

"lance is the biggest twink ive ever seen" shiro explained, when keith was still confused he said further "you dense fuck he wants to vore u"

it made sense, but keith was still unsure, because he was insecure and thought he was ugly and was always moments away from killing hismelf.

"O.O really??” keith said

the big bro nodded,

“Yes he told me to never tell anyone, i broke the pinky promise”

"and by that mean i fr broke his pinky bc im the buff daddy but WE ARE RELATED" he said firmly, and for a final time gave him a brotherly touch on the shoulder and said

"believe me i would.never lie to u, i am your brother agter all".

keith smiles affectionately at shiro, a look only people related by family can give.

They did their secret brother handshake as they departed and made sure to say the mandatory "youre like a brother to me" bedore keith went rushing down the halls ready to admit his big fat crush to the sexy boy.

keith reaches his door and wait s for it to open, sweatimg nervously.

the door.opens again and this time behind it lamcenis doing belly dancing because hes cuban :33 sexie

keiths penis is already quivering .

“hey man” he says.

“tháts my líne u fat fuck” lance repliés.

by now Keith is shaking and sweating this is because he is nervous. Impulsively, the furry shouts "uhhh I have a big fat Greek crush on u lolzor"

this is theost beautiful thing the blue paladin has ever heard, and it causes tears to fall.

lances lips wobble and he says "come here u big homo"

theyre lips lock and they battle for domincance. lance shoves his tongue down keiths throat and keith gasps but moans into the kiss, he has wanted this al the 5 months hes been trapped on this dumbass castle.

they pull apart and touch foreheads ane smile as for him by troye sivan plays in the background.

keiths member grows.

“OwO what's this??” says lance, his.penis also now very hard and erect.

"hehe that was fast" growl Keith lancd blush. "Only for you papi" **(A/N ‘papi’ is Spanish for father)**

Keith's animalistic ways appear. He begins to hump lances leg with wild abandon.

he is desperate now.

"please lance i am in heat i need to stick my fat cock in ur asshole and knot u have my furry ass galra babies" he pants. he need s this boys ass rihgt. now.

keits alien quock quivers as bhe readies to release in lances tight hole. he howls like a wolf, because he is a galra and galras are furries. this turns lance on even mre, he is painfullt hard and begging for release.

keith is also on the edge, moments from spilling his baby sauce inside his lovers cavaties.

hr pushes his knot.inside

“dios mio” alcne cries out.

they are both cukmimg harder than they ever had before, this is the best sex they have ever had, but also because its the only sex they've ever had because theyre virgin losers lol!!

lance cumms so hard that he cant hear the screams of people in the age discourse saying that he is underage, it doesnt matter because right now all that matters is keiths furry penis roofing him.

he ncext day lance rushes to the bedroom and throws up ijn the toilet.

"oh no aaaaa i am pregante with ur furry ass babies"

they tell allira and she folds her arms disprobingly. she has never been a fan of the galra as you know because allura is racist because she was mean to keith once.

she looks them in the eyes and says

“get an abortion”

the whole room is shocked. but she doesnt care because she is a princess .

Allura holds up het finger and makes a hook with it "I can abort the furry baby for you if you need.”

Lance screams. He is pro life. "NO! I will KEEP THE BABY!" Says him. Keith begins to cry.

hunk appears from the kitcjen and drops his food he baked for no reason in shock.

pidge is scared and she begins talking in her first language.

“mama mia” she whispers. no one understands her.

allura looks lance in the eyes andpresses the airlockt button and lance is ejected into space, the others watch as he struggles for air and slwoly asphyxiates to death.

she reaches for her face and pulls at her skin. it turns out it was a mask, and underneath there is mike pences face.

he looks  into the camera and says “thats what you get for being a homosexdual and having sex with another man” and winkskd.

the end

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 02:45 lanceisatwink: dios mio, icant believ
> 
> 02:45 peeurpantspidge: speak english u cuban twink
> 
> 06:34 lanceisatwink: quiet u filthy lasanga whore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short but so is the lifespan of everyone in the peepeeshada gc so go figure

**lanceisatwink > voreboys**

**02:34 lanceisatwink:** guys i just pissed all over the floor

 

 **02:34 peeurpantspidge:** pee

 

 **02:35 keithisafurry:** out of character joke bc i am a memer now hahahahah funny ufncnb

 

**02:37 shiroadult:** guys im trying to sleep can you keep it down please. i am an adult. I am an adult. i am an adu

 

**02:39 lanceisatwink:** 17:38

 

**02:30 peeurpantspidge:** i̬̺̜̝̗̪̳͕ ͉̜̖̰̤̮ͅw҉̞͖̯̖a̡̦̱͙͍̯̮̻̯̦̕s͈̻̜̰̻͉̗̭ ̴̺̗̙̲͡l̙̹͚͕̯i̸̛͙̫̩ͅk̨͏͚͓e̷̵̵͇̺͔͍̥̺̤̰̳ ҉͏̰̣͕͇̙͈h̸͘͏͍̲̼̬̳̖͇̜̰ȩ͚͉̖̻̣y̺̤̠̠͚̪̟͍ ̷͕̯w̙͎̟͢h̪̖a̖͕͇t͕̭̮̞̮̥͙̳͘͢s̛̲̹̩͈ ̵͕̘͓͇u̠̣͎͚̫͇̭p̧̣͓̗̗̞̹ͅ ̶͇̹̘̝̞̱h̲̭̯̰͞e͏̵̻̣͉̥̮͉̻̻ͅl̫̻͍̟̪͇̻͖̻ḻ̡͍̲͎̹̬̘ǫ̵̱

 

**02:31 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:**  guys im cooking rn any nonwhite person wanna judge it

 

**02:32 shiroadult:** Why are you cooking at 2:30 in the morning full stop. I am an adult so I type like this. full stop.

 

**02:31 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** shut up go do ur taxes fatass

 

**02:37 peeurpantspidge:** yes i do the cooking 

 

**02:32 keithisafurry:** yeah sure I’ll look at it

 

**04:36 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** no not u

 

**02:33 peeurpantspidge:** mm yes hunk im straving

 

**02:34 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** you know what

  
**02:78 lanceisatwink:** insert rivalry shit

 

**02:35 keithisafurry:** response to rivalry shit i probably get angry or smthn

**02:38 hunkisasmolbeanuwu and peeurpantspidge at the same time:** no one cares,,, loverboys!!!!

**02:45 lanceisatwink:** dios mio, icant believ

**02:45 peeurpantspidge:** speak english u cuban twink

**06:34 lanceisatwink:** quiet u filthy lasanga whore

 

**02:56 hunkisomethingiforget:** oh no! don't say th*t that's a bad word!!!͕   
  


**02:57 keithisafurry:** wait hunk didnt you say fatass like -4 minutes ago

**02:59 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** keith this is a chatfic the people who wrote this are severly underdeveloped

**03:00 peeurpantspidge:** i̢͜҉̩̼͎̝t̺̲̞̜̖̺̪̖͘s̙̜̣̥̝̼ ̡ͅͅ3͇̘͟a̘̣̞̜m̡͏͇̣̝̬͔̙͓ ҉̵̼̗͇͉̗̭͝y̳̱̞̣̲o̵̬̬̣͜u̧̲̠̼̘͖ ̧͕̟̪̟̖͕̥͇k̖̩̳̜n̴͎̯̺̲̩͖o̠̠͟w̬͟͞ ̛͔̯̟̝͙͙͟w̜͕̠ͅh̜̫̯͔͇̫̹̣ͅa̵̪̬͉̣t҉̱̬̖͝ ̢͉̙̰t̨͖̬̳̰̗͎̹̣͠ḩ̸̟̞a̵̢̬̦t̩̳̯̬ͅ ̤̣̼͔̦͝m̡̙̝̙̩̩̦ͅe̜͠a̧͙͙͜n͓s͍̙̱̬̟͝

**03:21 Shiroadult:** Wheres lance?

  
**03:46 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** probably fucking Lance somewhere

 

**3:52 lanceisatwink:** no that was yesterday hunk gosh,

**03:57 peeurpantspidge:** yes keith is fucking lance's asshole as we speak the absolute madman

 

-

 

 

**06:00 alluralesbian:** hey guys i have to go and run at 6:30 and consume my all vegan diet did i mention i have a successful chain of sephora makeup stores

  
**06:02 shiroadult:** I leave for ten minutes and this happens! Also alurra where u at? ;)

 

**06:03 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** wait arent you a lesbian allura

**06:04 alluralesbian:** uhhhhh

  
**06:06 alluralesbian:** I’ll be there in 5 mins shiro! :)

 

**06:12 peeurpantspidge:** they're smashing rn I can hear it

  
**07:16 keithisafurry:** hey guys sorry I was training

 

**07:18 lanceisatwink:** my love interest that is a year older has entered fantastic

**07:20 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** ewww cootties!!! Get a room!!!!!

**07:03 lanceisatwink:** hunk i touched ur food

**07:05 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** u thot

**07:24 shiroadult:** You two better not fight!

 

**07:30 lanceisatwink:** B) now everyone can vore me

**07:32 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** WHATS a vore??

**07:32 lanceisatwink:** ah yes you are the smol bean xd xd I'm sorry

**07:35 peeurpantspidge sent a video**

**07:35 alluralesbian:** What the fuck is that

**07:36 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** im

**07:37 lanceisatwink:** hey keith look its your family

**07:39 keithisafurry:** lance im an orphan

**07:39 peeurpantspidge:** THE

**07:39 shiroadult:** Lance.

**07:40 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** lance im fuckifnf

**07:40 lanceisatwink:** keith i

**07:40 lanceisatwink:** im so sorry 

**07:41 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** so sad 1000 like

**07:41 peeurpantspidge:** he

**07:42 keithisfurry:** no its fine i

**07:43 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** I CN BRBSTAH

 

**07:45 keithisafurry:** <3 no homo tho

 

**07:45 lanceisatwink:** <3 <3  love u bro (not gay)PAULplease..P22220.

 

 **07:46 peeurpantspidge:**  gross

 

-

 

 

**13:23 keithisafurey:** guys I have a deep dark secret.. I'm illiterate.. I'm 19 and never learned how to fucking read

 

**13:24 alluralebsian:** but how can you understand what's going on in this chat if you can't read Keith?

 

**13:24 keithisafurry:** i can't read what that says allura 

 

**13:13 lanceisatwink:** my nama jeff

 

**13:25 keithisafucjjfnfurry:** lance stop talking shit abt me 

 

**13:28 shiroadult:** あなたは愚かな女の子

 

**13:28 peeurpantspidge:** sorry cant understand the clone madonna lasagna

 

**13:29 alluralikesfemales:** shiro I don't speak Asian please speak English

 

**13:31 keithisafurry:** I have a telepathic connection with everyone through the lions

 

**13:34 shiroadult:** Pidge Im not a quiznaking clone.

 

**13:34 peeurpantspidge:** shiro ur a 25 year old adult and you cant say fuck

 

 **13:35 lanceisatwink:** keith photosynthesise with me

 

**13:37 keithisafurry:** lance thats not the same thing

 

**13:37 lanceisatwink:** shut up youre dyslexic

 

**13:38 keithisafurry:** ddnot majk fun od r me fuckinfjf 

  
  


**13:42 peeurpantspidge:** no swearing in my Christian Household

 

**13:43 shiroadult:** allura! I need to be punished for swearing in front of kids!

 

**13:44 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** see this is what we not finna do

 

**13:46 hunkisosmething:** pidge aren't u catholic? because of ur Italian origins. don't u follow the rule of the pope? fucking fake fan

 

**13:47 peeurpantspidge** : stop threatening me??? im a baby ass child smh

 

**04:34 shiroadult:** Pidge youre 15.

 

**13:46 lesbianallura:** shiro your punishment will happen in my chambers shiro report there immediately

 

**13:47 Shiroadult:** On my way!

 

**13:47 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:**...

 

**13:50 lanceisatwink:** theyre gonna fuck i cant do thsi

**13:51 peeurpantspidge:** yall are nasty

**13:52 alluralebsian:** I think hunk does not like knowing about certain aspects of our relationship shiro

**13:56 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** apart from it beinf pedophilia bc ur a teen and hes a grown ass man th

**13:57 keithisafurry:** he likes younger girls

**13:58 lanceisatwink:** you dont even like girls keith

**13:59 keithisafurry:** suck my ass 

**14:00 lanceisatwink:** point proven

 

-

 

 

**12:03 shiroadult:t:** theres donuts in the kitchen!,&3!,&:    

**12:04 lesbianallura:** what are these donuts you speak of?

**12:04 peeurpantspidge:** im going with my man hunk while shiro goes balls deep

**12:05 lanceisatwink:** wait i thought yall were fucking how did shiro make donuts

**12:07 shiroadult:** multitasking

**12:10 alluralesbian:** ooh I will come to the kitchen immediately to try these "donuts"

**12:11 lanceisatwink:** what the fuck

**12:14 hunkmasterchef:** I bet they taste awful don't do it allura

**12:14 lesbianallura:** hmm maybe Keith made them? Either way I'm coming to the kitchen to try them.

**12:15 shiroadult:** keith can’t cook tf

**12:15 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** DONT YOU DARE SUGGEST THAT IDRATGER DIE A HUNDRED TIMES RHAN EAT ANYTHINK KEITJ MADE

**12:16 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** some things just make me wanna Throw  up. Sex, because I am a smol bean flower child uwuwu, adulthood, and the thogght of Keith trying to cook

**12:17 keithisafurry:** neither of us can cook

**12:18 lanceisatwink:** it runs in the family

**12:20 shiroadult:** the donuts are good so props to whoever made them

**12:22 alluralebsian:** yes they are very good!

**12:14 keithisafurry:** iddint make no donuts..

**12:23 shiroadult:** ….

**12:38 alluralesbian:** suddenly I feel faint. I think I'm going to pass out oh no

**12:40 shiroadult:** I’m not feeling too well

**12:43 keithisafurry:** lotorojr…….

**12:43 peeurpantspidge:** curse you prrery the platypus…..

**12:50 peeurpantspidge:** imma pull up at lotors crib and beat his eggplant lookin ass

**12:52 lanceisatwink:** i dont feel too good sans, nyeh

**12:52 keithisafurry:** I'm blocking you

**12:56 lanceisatwink:** please dont ill pay child support

**12:53 hunkisasmolbeanuwu:** i want to die

 

-

 

 

 

**02:58: keithisafurry added lotorthecuck to the group**

 

 **03:00 peeurpantspidge:** WHAT THE FUCJF

 

 **03:00 lotorthecuck:** rahhhh wagwan

 

 **03:02 lanceisatwink:** keith why is he here

 

 **03:03 keithisafurry:** half galra mandem pull up B

 

 **03:03 lotorthecuck:** gang gang

 

 **03:05 alluralesbian:** I hate the fuckfkfn galra

 

 **03:06 peeurpantspidge:** pee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate thsi i hate htis i hate this i iha tehis

**Author's Note:**

> pee


End file.
